Miscarriages are so painful and soul-wrenching

There is a brilliant thing that will make it at least a little less painful

Whether your pregnancy was planned or not, a miscarriage is one of the most painful and soul-wrenching experiences a woman can go through. There is no more immense tragedy in life than to lose your own child before it's even born. Even in today’s modern times, miscarriages are still a taboo subject of sorts, but things are slowly beginning to change for the better. More and more women are sharing their stories about the traumatic experience, taking it upon themselves to bring this difficult subject to the public to help themselves and others heal.

You are not alone

Yes, it's a tragedy. It's something no parent should ever have to experience, and it's an experience that no woman should go through alone. And while there is nothing that could ever truly fill the void a miscarriage creates, one thing is for sure for most women; talking about it and sharing the experience is something that can make a tremendous, positive difference. Talking about the experience helps to reaffirm that we are not alone in our suffering. It reminds us that there are others who have been where we are; others who have felt what we feel and have found a way to carry on and move forward. Sharing the experience helps signal to others who can offer support and assistance as needed to help lead to healing and it lets us know that we are not isolated.

Meghan Markle revealed that she lost her second child. Meghan Markle / Pool-Getty Images

One of the most well-known women of our time, The Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, famously talked about her own trauma with her miscarriage. She wrote an open letter in the New York Times about losing her second baby with Prince Harry.

"After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew as I clutched my firstborn child that I was losing my second,” Meghan wrote.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend revealed that they lost their third child. Chrissy Teigen / Instagram 

American model and entrepreneur Chrissy Teigen lost her third baby with husband John Legend last year and shared heartbreaking but incredibly moving, black and white photos taken at the hospital after the most tragic moment in their lives. Chrissy was very open about the experience. "We are shocked, and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the type of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough.

We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever,” Chrissy wrote.

Union found encouragement by realizing she wasn’t alone. Gabrielle Union / Instagram 

Actress Gabrielle Union confesses she lost count after years of failed IVF cycles and around nine miscarriages. “On those days where I felt like I was circling the drain emotionally, physically, spiritually, I allowed myself to have a freaking moment,” said Union, 49. “I allowed myself to be a freaking human.” Union said she found encouragement by realizing she wasn’t alone.  

Stories of tragedy from prominent women like these serve to remind us that a miscarriage can happen to anyone, no matter your race, social status, health, or creed.

It's more common than you think

Hope Solo, Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Kate Mara, Alanis Morissette, Christina Perri, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pink, Carrie Underwood, Shawn Johnson talked about their unfortunate Miscarriages

In addition to Meghan, Chrissy and Gabrielle, the same tragedy happened to Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Pink, Carrie Underwood, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alanis Morissette, Shawn Johnson, Kate Mara, Hope Solo, Dylan Dreyer, Michelle Branch, Hilaria Baldwin and Shay Mitchell, just to name a few prominent women. About 1 out of 5 pregnancies, or between 750,000 and 1 million pregnancies yearly in the United States, end in miscarriage. Nearly all women who go through this horrific tragedy agree on one thing; they all felt lost and alone.

It can be difficult for women to avoid negative thoughts, bearing their pain alone, and thinking that they are somehow broken. The reality is, miscarriages are more common than you'd think.

Sharing can make a big difference

Sharing this news is hard, but it's something that can make such a difference. If you're not comfortable sharing that with the people around you, therapy is a great way to start dealing with this tremendous loss. 

Sharing the truth about our bodies, talking about our experiences, and creating space for other women going through the terrible process of miscarriage is one of the most helpful things we can do to support each other as women. As heartbreaking and challenging as it is, many women who opened up about their miscarriage say that it felt good to expel the feelings of guilt and grief, and pass on warmth, comfort, and ultimately help to other women in the same position.

Talking about what works and what doesn't and how to cope with and manage the exhausting issues that follow this type of tragedy is really beneficial for anyone going through this. There are many practical issues women face, but the positive thing is that nowadays, there are many queens that are working on making this awful experience a little more conquerable. 

What about the physical pain?

One of the most painful reminders of the loss that a miscarriage brings is the severe pain from developed milk ducts in breasts. The breast produces milk, but there is no baby to feed. That leads to breast engorgement, pain, and discomfort, on top of unimaginable emotional pain.

JENNAbra founder - Rabia Malik

That kind of suffering is awful. Going through it herself, Rabia Malik, the founder of JENNAbra, thought of one practical solution for women: She patented a bra that was specifically engineered to help with the physical pain so that dealing with the emotional pain would be a bit more bearable. As someone who had experienced a miscarriage first hand, she believed that she didn't have much choice. She could either let the body take its course and suffer through, or she could use the experience to create something positive that would not only help her but other women who were experiencing the same struggles.

Three weeks after her own miscarriage, Rabia began designing a weaning bra that allows moms to apply as much pressure as needed to dry up the milk ducts while providing full support throughout the day.

Hands-free pumping, nursing, and weaning bra

Until the creation of JENNAbra, most women had to have a certain bra for nursing and a completely different one for pumping. There was no bra for weaning. After some research,  even more conversations with women, and lots of trial and error, Rabia designed a solution; JENNAbra, the first-ever patented hands-free pumping, nursing, and weaning bra, named after, Jenna, the daughter that Rabia herself carried. Jenna means Heaven and Grace. 

JENNAbra - First patented 3-in-1 Nursing, Handsfree Pumping, and Weaning bra

JENNAbra is worn like a vest; it closes in the front, providing comfort and support with bands that wrap around your waist like a warm hug. This unique bra is equipped with three-point adjustments; waistbands, tabs on the bra cups, and shoulder straps, allowing you to adjust to your changing breast independent of each other throughout the day. When you are ready, they help to apply pressure to wean and suppress milk production.

There is also a loving note, written as a message on the bottom bands of JENNAbra. "You're strong, beautiful, and loved. You're not alone! This hug is just for you.” 

Supportive and ever-evolving, the JENNAbra was designed to reflect those who wear it: mothers-to-be, mothers who are still trying, and mothers who have known loss, said the designer. "No matter your journey, we're in this together. You are not alone on your journey."